PILLAR 3: LIFE, LOSS, AND THE ILLUSION OF “I MADE IT”

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 PILLAR 3: LIFE, LOSS, AND THE ILLUSION OF “I MADE IT”

I thought I was living the dream

Big waterfront house on the hill. Chandeliers that looked stolen from the Waldorf. A gold sink. Yes, really, a gold sink. A Louis Vuitton toilet seat because my old life loved a statement. Marble floors. An in-ground pool. Bay breeze. The kind of house people slow down when they drive past

Every morning I would walk downstairs and say, “I love our house”
Then I would ask, “Do you love our house?”
Every day he would answer, “Yes, Stef”

Until one morning I asked again
And he snapped, “Stop asking me that”

Something shifted that day

I just didn’t have language for it yet

What I didn’t know was that while I was building fantasy on the surface, the foundation underneath me was already cracking

Not slowly

Quietly

Mail that never reached me

Bills that did not make sense

Stories that stopped lining up

A reality that didn’t match the life I thought I was living

There are things a woman should never see on a computer screen once she learns where to look

There are truths that rearrange your memories

There are moments that split your life into before and after

I had one of those moments

Then the word no one is ever ready for entered my life

Foreclosure

He forged signatures

Ruined my credit

Drained the accounts

I didn’t find out until after the damage was already done

After ten years of marriage, he emailed me to say he wasn’t coming back

No conversation

No explanation

That season took everything

Marriage
Money
Identity
Safety
Control

And that unraveling is what leads directly into the next chapter of my life